The Morning After
by pookakitten
Summary: Why you don't let Melissa and Kurtz get drunk at the same time.


Disclaimer: Yes, I know I don't own Full Metal Panic! I realize the novels, manga, and anime series are owned by some very creative folks in Japan. I'm just borrowing my favorites: Sousuke, Kaname, Melissa, and Kurtz. Tessa will only be mentioned in passing, if I have my way.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for adult situations  
  
Summary: Why you don't let Melissa and Kurtz get drunk at the same time.  
  
---  
  
The Morning After By Samantha  
  
Melissa Mao looked out from her bunk on the Tuatha de Danaan, blearily wondering why she was about to fall to the deck. Her sleep fogged eyes roved the room, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary--the pile of clothes under the desk chair, the beer cans residing in a corner. She squinted at the pile of clothes in the minimal safety lighting, absently wondering why there was a white shirt and suspenders in the pile--Kurtz dressed like that, not her.  
  
Shoving her way towards the middle of the mattress, she tried to remember recent events. There was the batch of new sailors posted to the TDD-1 that she was responsible for training in the sub's operating procedure. She had pulled rank on her elder sergeant, making him help her. She knew her men well enough that Sousuke would have been useless--his perfectionism and age would have made for a bad combination as a trainer. Anyway, he was in Tokyo, retrieving Chidori Kaname at Commander Kalinin's orders. Now if only the headache would recede enough so she could remember why Sousuke was retrieving the girl. Ah yes, so the Captain could try training Kaname's Whispered abilities.  
  
A groan emanates behind her as she continues to move closer to the center. Muzzily, she knows that usually the bed is large enough for her, so why not now? The groan turns into a voice, mumbling, "Sis...you elbowed me in the ribs. And give me some of the blanket." Wait a minute... only Weber calls me sis... but he can't be here; he has his own quarters her groggy logic told her. I must be dreaming, she told herself. Nothing else makes any sense.  
  
Realization dawns on her that she is nude under the blanket. Absently, she wonders, what kind of dream is this? Another detail floats to the surface of her thoughts, about the training. Several of the new sailors seemed disinclined to believe their captain was actually Tessa, and intended only to listen to Kalinin and Mardukas. No amount of sit-ups, push-ups, or laps around the AS bay was going to change that it seemed. Then there was the speculation about being able to use the Arbalest by the SRT forces. They were becoming outright belligerent when she told them, cigarette hanging out of her mouth, that her other sergeant, Sagara Sousuke, was assigned as its designated operator. They insisted to know why a 16 year old, barely in Mithril a year would merit such special treatment. Apparently his name preceded him, but not his skills. Return to point one. By the time the two of them pounded a little sense into such thick skulls, she needed more than a couple beers. More like a case, and Weber wasn't in any better condition.  
  
The blond letch followed her to her quarters, bitching at the ingratitude of those people. It was unspoken they would go to her quarters--she always had the booze, even against the Captain's protocols, and anyway, hers were slightly larger due to her higher rank.  
  
A pair of strong arms pulls her close, before yanking most of the blanket off her. The cold air against her warm skin couldn't be part of a dream. But the affectionate kisses along her neck were from every night she spent in the field, sleeping fitfully between battles. She sighed softly and relaxed into the embrace, unable to separate fact from reality, falling back to sleep.  
  
Several hours later, a loud chime fills the room. Opening her eyes, she sees spots as her eyes adjust to the light. She looks down confusedly at the arm thrown over her side. She sent Weber away, didn't she? Her lips turn down into a frown, as details start falling into place, from the blond hair on the arms to the previous day's events. Instinct kicks in, and she throws the intruder in her bed to the deck. He hits with a resounding clang, and looks up at her, blinking his eyes. "Sis? Why'd you do that?" he asks with a bit of a slur.  
  
Rage boils up in her as she practically screams, "Why are you here, Weber? I knew I should have picked someone else, that you'd do something like this, sooner or later." She points to the large pile of beer cans. "And only one who describes himself at first meeting as a coward would do it while she is drunk." She reaches for the closest item to hand, her revolver that she sleeps with stuffed under the corner of the mattress. She absently thinks that Sousuke either sleeps with a rifle like others would a woman, or keeps a shotgun under his pillow, if he actually used his bunk. The revolver aimed at Weber in a two handed stance, she tells him. "Get. Out. Now."  
  
Trying to rely on his good looks, or something, he asks for some leniency. "Can I at least put some clothes on?" Her only answer is to click off the safety, the sound echoing through the small chamber. Back pressed against the wall, clothed as much as the day he was born, he slowly makes his way to the door. Opening it, he is greeted by a strange sight.  
  
Standing outside in his uniform is Sousuke, a confused look on his face. A step behind him stands Kaname, an expression on her face that was only reserved for Sousuke, and only when she did not know about their mission.  
  
Sousuke breaks the silence with the kind of question that garnered him the nickname 'Sergeant Clueless' from Kaname. "Kurtz, why are you nude in the Major Sergeant's quarters?" Kaname's face simply collides with the palm of her outstretched hand. She uses her other hand to pull the halisen out of her dress pocket, just in case she needs it.  
  
A moment later Kaname leans forward to whisper into the younger sergeant's ear. Sousuke's gray eyes grow large and he looks away. "Sergeant, Sergeant Major, you must realize this is a violation of protocol." Ever the straight man, he continues, "It is my duty to inform Commander Kalinin of this indiscretion."  
  
Kaname swiftly strikes him with the fan, while Kurtz watches on in amusement, Melissa still aiming the gun at her unintended guest. Grasping control of the situation, Kaname suggests the two elder Mithril members put some clothing on, while she explains some things in more detail to Sousuke. The blue haired student finishes with the admonition, "Melissa, do I have to be in there to make sure you don't kill Kurtz?" Minutes later, they reappear in the hallway, fully dressed. Without a word, Kaname starts walking down the hallway. Looking at each other and shrugging, the Mithril soldiers follow her silently, Melissa glaring at Kurtz every step of the way.  
  
She stops in front of Sousuke's quarters, while everyone else continues several steps further, until colliding with Kaname. The young soldier nods, and opens the door, taking the bunk for himself and Kaname. Kurtz sprawls on the floor with the muttered comment, "at least I'm on the deck already, so she can't do that to me again." Melissa remains silent, sitting in the small room's lone chair after she closes the door behind her.  
  
Suddenly noticing her proximity to Sousuke, and where they are sitting, a blush creeps into Kaname's cheeks. Kurtz, his normal ebullient ways undampened, winks to Sousuke. Sousuke, of course, misses the meaning of the wink.  
  
Regaining her composure, the first thing Kaname does is ask, "Now what happened? I guess what the obvious is, and I explained things to Sousuke, so assume he is suitably briefed."  
  
With a curt nod, Melissa goes into the hellish training of the day before. Sousuke scowls at the obvious disrespect for protocol and rank, but remains silent. She then continues, "Then we went to my quarters to relax, like we have done many times before. Right Sousuke?"  
  
The named sergeant nods and adds, "Though I abstain from the alcohol like any good soldier." He receives a glare from both of his teammates for his efforts.  
  
Kaname nods, her hair framing her face, distracting Sousuke for the moment. "Then what happened?"  
  
Melissa points to Kurtz. "This oaf couldn't walk back to his quarters in the state he was in, I think."  
  
"Oaf!?! Just admit it, you wanted me."  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want you?"  
  
A lecherous grin covers his face. "Apparently you haven't done it enough. Or you finally gave in to the power that is me."  
  
Sousuke's gaze moves from one to the other, complete bafflement on his features.  
  
Kaname cuts the argument short, before it generated into blows, with a clipped "Stop!" She sighs. At least there's one benefit of being class representative and student council vice president, she mused.  
  
"Now any possible lasting consequences?" Sousuke's bafflement only increases. She sighs again and whispers into his ear.  
  
Hearing what his friend says, he blurts out, "Pregnancy? That's what you two were doing?" Seeing the looks Melissa and Kurtz shoot Sousuke, Kaname decides the harisen isn't needed, for now.  
  
Shifting her eyes to Kurtz, Kaname asks, "Well, is that a possibility?" Melissa's eyes look down at her sergeant.  
  
For once, at a loss of words, he stutters, "I-I don't know."  
  
Flying into a rage, Melissa snatches the harisen and starts using it extensively on Kurtz. "You don't know? You would be the one using it, you idiot!"  
  
Still not quite with the show, Sousuke chooses the most opportune time to interject, "Use what?" Kaname looks at him with his confused look, torn between amazement and attraction. The other two Mithril members just look at him in amazement.  
  
Cocksure as ever, Kurtz enlightens Sousuke, "You don't use condoms as water bottles. At least that's not their intended purpose." He grins even more. "You use them with pretty girls, like Kaname." Sousuke and Kaname blush brightly, and unconsciously move further away from each other on the bunk. He turns to Melissa, "Remember, I had just as much to drink as you, if not more? And you expect me to remember if I put on a piece of latex, when confronted with your beautiful, moaning body?"  
  
Kaname puts her head in her hands for a moment, before looking at her watch. Great, her meeting with Tessa to start her training starts any minute now. Turning to Sousuke, she asks, "Is there any way for me to contact Tessa? It's about why I'm here, not this pretty little tangle." He nods, and pulls a communication device from his uniform pocket. After keying in a code, he hands it to Kaname, who quickly leaves a message. "Tessa, something came up--I'll be there soon as I can." Turning back to the pair, she asks "Melissa, what about you? No probable lasting consequences?"  
  
The elder woman shakes her head and smiles triumphantly at Kurtz. "Damned near impossible, unless that surgeon really messed up."  
  
Kaname comments, "Then why let a one time accident ruin two careers?" Sousuke splutters, unable to form a coherent statement.  
  
Shock in his blue eyes, Kurtz mutters, "And yet she put me through this, for no good reason."  
  
Melissa grins and looks at her two men, "And now it's time for training from hell, round two. Sousuke, I'm giving you the discipline cases. You will have some that resent you piloting the Arbalest, just so you have prior warning. Use whatever means necessary to make these soldiers behave properly. Before you do that, escort Kaname to the Captain. Weber, you take those who will be working with the arm slaves to their supervisors, after determining their knowledge of the Danaan's procedures. I'll do the same with the other recruits."  
  
Kurtz grins at Sousuke, "And after your work is done, maybe you and Kaname can practice the lesson you learned, Sousuke. You still have that condom from the beginning of the mission to protect Kaname, right?" Melissa holds the paper fan out to Kaname, who uses it to beat Kurtz to within an inch of his life. 


End file.
